I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
