if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
