i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize