I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
