erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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