Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old