thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
