Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.

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(902): and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted. http://tfl.nu/575h

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.

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(732): I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college. http://tfl.nu/q6b4

Replies (13) Good night (794) Bad night (3862)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.

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(603): Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid. http://tfl.nu/3tmh

Replies (10) Good night (945) Bad night (3977)
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(831): View more from California

She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs

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(831): She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs http://tfl.nu/k6rx

Replies (7) Good night (3239) Bad night (1324)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.

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(763): Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage. http://tfl.nu/62w3

Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (1546)
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(628): View more from California

That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.

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(628): That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM. http://tfl.nu/93q7

Replies (56) Good night (7143) Bad night (1017)
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(219): View more from Indiana

How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?

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(219): How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year? http://tfl.nu/u8i3

Replies (10) Good night (2691) Bad night (711)
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(949): View more from California

One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.

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(949): One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers. http://tfl.nu/qlpq

Replies (6) Good night (1962) Bad night (628)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.

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(732): Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help. http://tfl.nu/m3q1

Replies (6) Good night (2174) Bad night (821)
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(512): View more from Texas

In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.

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(512): In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes. http://tfl.nu/9eez

Replies (9) Good night (1890) Bad night (573)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep

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(860): You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep http://tfl.nu/5kc4

Replies (4) Good night (1221) Bad night (572)
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(757): View more from Virginia

You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.

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(757): You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part. http://tfl.nu/w83y

Replies (4) Good night (833) Bad night (430)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.

(402): View more from Nebraska

Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.

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(402): I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth. (402): Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering. http://tfl.nu/qwlh

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(831): View more from California

DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING

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(831): DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING http://tfl.nu/1232

Replies (3) Good night (361) Bad night (619)
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(530): View more from California

now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home

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(530): now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home http://tfl.nu/uij6

Replies (0) Good night (172) Bad night (276)

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