East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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