but the lizard people decide everything anyway
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize