Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
