Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
