In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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