haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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