And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
