First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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