this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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