My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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