what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
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