Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
