i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
