bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
