the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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