Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The adults are the big ones right?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
