i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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