New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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