He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
