just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
