found the other keg... it's in the tree
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
