by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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