im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
