I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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