Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
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