you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
