i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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