just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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