why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
