I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
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I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
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I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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