Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
wanna go halves on a baby?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
