I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
