i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
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I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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