..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize