it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
