mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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