we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
