I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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