therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
