good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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