I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
