There is no way he is gay with that hair.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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