Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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