Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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