Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
