Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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