oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
