At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
