One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
