you guys were way drunker than both of me
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
