I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
