are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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