reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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