Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
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I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
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How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.