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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.

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• (281): View more from Texas

  They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I told you I was good to drive

  (1-915): View more from Texas

  dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca

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• (561): View more from Florida

  so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same

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• (315): View more from New York

  its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.

  (214): View more from Texas

  SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up

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• (858): View more from California

  I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.

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