Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I felt like helen keller

  (810): View more from Michigan

  But she could have totally found that shit before me

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  (810): I felt like helen keller (810): But she could have totally found that shit before me http://tfl.nu/5p3h
  Replies (1) Good night (1032) Bad night (1122)
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  (619): View more from California

  If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.

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  (619): If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library. http://tfl.nu/gs64
  Replies (59) Good night (1133) Bad night (3831)
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  (+44): View more from England

  I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.

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  (+44): I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment. http://tfl.nu/zeo3
  Replies (37) Good night (7313) Bad night (973)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

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  (516): The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home. http://tfl.nu/xzym
  Replies (13) Good night (6494) Bad night (1287)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.

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  (913): Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla. http://tfl.nu/bslp
  Replies (12) Good night (1688) Bad night (4519)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.

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  (231): you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob. http://tfl.nu/xbl2
  Replies (25) Good night (9789) Bad night (1195)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.

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  (425): all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help. http://tfl.nu/bkkn
  Replies (6) Good night (3699) Bad night (1105)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.

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  (518): I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere. http://tfl.nu/r42x
  Replies (13) Good night (1494) Bad night (4643)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.

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  (+44): I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you. http://tfl.nu/998a
  Replies (5) Good night (2743) Bad night (1366)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers

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  (407): I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers http://tfl.nu/i49j
  Replies (7) Good night (1804) Bad night (1089)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.

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  (662): Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse. http://tfl.nu/b0l0
  Replies (6) Good night (1717) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children

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  (817): I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children http://tfl.nu/nt9v
  Replies (4) Good night (1474) Bad night (576)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection

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  (954): aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection http://tfl.nu/vqm1
  Replies (4) Good night (598) Bad night (1129)
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  (714): View more from California

  Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.

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  (714): Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday. http://tfl.nu/bnh5
  Replies (1) Good night (1485) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.

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  (337): She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last. http://tfl.nu/3f1e
  Replies (3) Good night (986) Bad night (372)

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