I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
