I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.