i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
