It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
