Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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