Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
