I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
