You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
God I need to hump something, right now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
